I decided to go on a little walk today, mostly because
I wanted to get unstuck from my environment and get a bit of movement for my
body. What happened today on my walk inspired this post:
I decide to stop at a local park not far from my home,
mostly because it was early enough that there wouldn’t be children and because
I’m still a full blown sucker for swings. Something I now know I probably won’t
grow out of.
Once I sat at the swings, several things entered my
line of perception. A couple deeply making out on a bench far past the jungle
gym/ play area, a father kinda watching his daughter as she played on the gym
area as she habitually calls out to him vying for his attention, a painfully
thin man who I could believe was on some form of drugs as he rocks back and
forth, and closest to me where I was at on the swings, 4 teenagers, 2 girls and
2 boys.
I make sure to pay attention to details and my
surroundings, so after I did that, I decided to pop in my headphones and begin
swinging. I let my thoughts run free, gazing up at clouds, feeling the onset of
autumn in the air, and me drifting off in my music and thoughts as they swirled
in this wonderful and slightly childish fervor.
Then, the 2 teen boys came and went on the 2 swings to
my right, and one of the teen girls joined me on the vacant swing on my left.
The boys proceed to act like, for lack of a better
phrase, a barrel of dicks. Yelling profanities, cursing, jumping with their
full weight on the swings, and speaking nigga this and nigga that.
It was in this moment I reflected on whether I acted
like this when I was a teen in a critical spark of thought, stiffened up, and
looked around with an obvious air of “wtf ew why?”.
Yet, I removed myself mentally. These were teens, and
from what I recalled, being a teen was a curious case. Not really honestly
knowing who you are, lost in your rabid hormones, your body not actually doing
what you command at the best and worst of times, at the sway of the friends of
the moment, weight and beliefs up and down, and too much to list with what else
going on in that crucial age space.
I guess in this moment, I realized just how far I’ve
matured since being a teen. The things I went through that molded me,
influenced me, made me blossom, and get to the woman I am now. Leaving the
foolishness of the teen years far off and away, only here with the good parts
from that stage in my life.
“Hi, what’s your name?”
I was buried so deep in my mixture of my own mind I
barely heard the teenage girl looking at me and trying to connect with me.
We both talked for some time, and this girl was so
sweet and kind. She expressed her happiness of soon graduating, talked about
her classes and teachers she has (which was funny cause she goes to the same
school I used to go to), and revealed how surprised she was that I wasn’t a
high schooler too (thank goddess for good skin, glamour magick, and beauty
products!). After we said out goodbyes, I felt this noticeable irk in me.
This sweet girl, those barrel of dicks she hangs with.
That good girl with loads of potential and a good life
to be lived fully, those boys who I know damn well from the way they act will
influence her to do crappy things and have the ability to detour her life.
Yes, I know. You shouldn’t judge others, but the thing
is this: when you’ve been in that teenager space, lived through it, and been
around crappy people like that, you can tell EXACTLY who they are. You been
around terrible teens in your life previously, you can tell how they act and
how they operate.
I had this urge to pull her to the side, and tell her
everything. All of those things I WISHED someone else told me about being a
teenager and how to navigate those waters and how to come out on the other side
of it better than I came in. I saw myself in this girl, and I wanted to tell
her things to make her life easier. In that moment, I wanted to say: the “friends”
you have in high school will NOT be around you when you leave, getting to
college is A LOT better than what you are going through now, that you don’t
have to be around people who pressure you or make you question yourself in a
negative way, if boys pressure or make you feel uncomfortable you don’t have to
tolerate it, you get to choose your friends and choose them wisely, you shouldn’t
have to try to keep boys around, do not be around people who you do not admire
or have qualities you wished you have, don’t stress about college, you have
your entire life to figure out what you want, be careful and wise with your
money, do not hang around assholes or boys who have terrible masculinity, be
around boys who appreciate you the way you are authentically, and so much more.
But…I felt like it wasn’t my place because I just met
the young girl, so I had to say in my head as she ran back to her “friends” she’ll
“live and learn”.
Live and learn.
Live and learn.
Live and learn.
I fucking hate that theory.
The theory that you HAVE to go through all of the
heartbreak, the betrayals, the bad stuff, the shattered hopes and dreams, and
all of the crappy stuff that comes with being a girl and teenager and life in
general. That once you get punched in the gut, you LEARN after it.
I hate it.
I do not believe that is the way it should be.
You shouldn’t have to experience pain, you should only
experience the good and the pleasurable.
There should be NO reason for girls to live and learn,
not when the Crone is alive and well.
When there are millions upon millions of women who
have stood where you stood, have gathered the knowledge, and are willing to
give it to the younger girls so they don’t have to go through the pain like
they did.
Now, I do not consider myself a Crone by any length of
the imagination. I’m still learning and to be a Crone is a badge of honor
gained through years of experience. But, from what life I did learn from, I
felt so compelled to give it to this girl. To spare her the theory of living
and learning.
Is the Crone the only one allowed to have the
knowledge and the authority to give it?
Or is it fit to say that we as women all have
knowledge, experiences, and all have the ability to give it to a fellow woman?
Whether or not we are currently in our Crone phase?
And, how do we go about giving this knowledge to
another girl, even if we do not know them that well?
I’ve received insight and messaged from fellow women blessed
with gifts of spiritual communication and intuition, and these messages allowed
me to grow and change in ways that blessed me life.
Does one woman have to be open and willing to receive the
knowledge from another woman? Even if they do not know each other well, the openness
must be maintained?
Though this instance was small, I felt as though it
brought up so much. Questions among questions.
Do we form that sacred sister circle, the sisterhood,
the formation of a divine feminine through the passing of knowledge from one
woman to another, even if they are strangers?
When are lines crossed? When are lines supposed to be
approached?
The Crone is the wise woman for a reason, through her
knowledge of this life and the next is blessed upon her. She has aided women in
choices, in fixing their lives, in course corrections, and in avoiding the pit
fall of life women go through. They know the sacred arts, they know the way through
life and into the next. Patriarchy knew this, and they sought to destroy her
for a reason. That’s why when women get to a certain age they are seen as “undesirable”,
that we do not see movies or shows around crone aged women (though we are
starting to see more, shift maybe?), that older women are smeared as “bitter
bettys” “hags” “jealous” “dried up” or any of the multitudes of slurs, that the
wise woman’s image has been destroyed as an ugly cackling hag of burden, that
Patriarchy sought to destroy her during the Witch Trials and by killing the
midwives, and so much more.
The crone is sacred, and is part of the divine
feminine. She is of the Triple Goddess; the maiden, the mother, the crone. And
whether we like it or not, her wisdom doesn’t deal in fairy tales that will get
the woman fucked in the long run or hurt her in ways that will echo for a life
time. Her knowledge maybe harsh, but it is valuable.
I hate that I had to say in my head to that sweet girl
“she’ll learn”.
Girls shouldn’t have to live and learn.
Girls should learn and THEN live.
Girls should learn from those who have lived and
experienced before them so they don’t have to suffer.
Learn and live.
Learn and live.
Learn and Live.
Erytheia Medea©
*All pictures belong to their respective owners*
No comments:
Post a Comment